im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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