she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
