the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
