I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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