It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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