So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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