hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
