bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
