i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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