Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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