5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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