yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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