she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
