i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
