he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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