Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
