I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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