You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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