just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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