Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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