her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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