Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You have to summon your inner elephant
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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