i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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