Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
