you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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