No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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