Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
