So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
