so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
