God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
