I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sponge bath it is.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
