Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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