just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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