I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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