Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
