just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hippo gnu deer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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