He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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