Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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