I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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