you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The feeling are messing with the penis
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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