she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
