Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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