Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
