If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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