My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.