Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.