she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
