my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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