Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
