I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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