so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
