so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
