dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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