Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

Fav 35 8043 1110
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

Fav 29 2543 7410
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

Fav 18 7169 1000
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

Fav 30 13072 1885
share tweet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil

Fav 19 9085 2257
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

Fav 6 2011 1073
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

Fav 7 2335 855
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

Fav 5 854 624
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.

Fav 4 1057 336
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT