Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
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NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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