Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.

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  (419): Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them. http://tfl.nu/vhc8
  Replies (42) Good night (5957) Bad night (561)
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  (831): View more from California

  It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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  (831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove
  Replies (11) Good night (4645) Bad night (1119)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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  (403): We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I." http://tfl.nu/5568
  Replies (25) Good night (4244) Bad night (868)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.

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  (615): The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face. http://tfl.nu/dqag
  Replies (11) Good night (1172) Bad night (5068)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.

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  (+61): It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination. http://tfl.nu/nbvv
  Replies (3) Good night (2894) Bad night (802)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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  (812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx
  Replies (8) Good night (4254) Bad night (966)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (1371)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.

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  (678): Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/nvwp
  Replies (17) Good night (4842) Bad night (704)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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  (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters http://tfl.nu/gu1l
  Replies (8) Good night (1662) Bad night (660)
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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  (315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un
  Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (978)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.

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  (904): That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots. http://tfl.nu/foo4
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (525)
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  (909): View more from California

  I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused

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  (909): I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused http://tfl.nu/1156
  Replies (13) Good night (1955) Bad night (559)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday

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  (301): This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/hzvp
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.

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  (231): My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting. http://tfl.nu/ksju
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (278)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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  (914): I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man. http://tfl.nu/8gmb
  Replies (5) Good night (331) Bad night (116)

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