I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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