Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes

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  (814): Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes http://tfl.nu/sox5
  Replies (48) Good night (1499) Bad night (568)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (818) Bad night (4082)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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  (514): i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty." http://tfl.nu/ecou
  Replies (15) Good night (4865) Bad night (960)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (52515) Bad night (3525)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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  (785): so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out! http://tfl.nu/n1rp
  Replies (11) Good night (4563) Bad night (1270)
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Its 11 o'clock somewhere

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  (315): What's the rule on cocaine before dinner? (414): Its 11 o'clock somewhere http://tfl.nu/yof7
  Replies (7) Good night (2648) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.

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  (610): Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it. http://tfl.nu/tp8b
  Replies (6) Good night (3986) Bad night (858)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face

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  (973): Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face http://tfl.nu/mow6
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (1935)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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  (+44): I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina. http://tfl.nu/fp84
  Replies (21) Good night (1974) Bad night (568)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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  (314): I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc http://tfl.nu/aic3
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (1082)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live

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  (614): After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live http://tfl.nu/6xtu
  Replies (6) Good night (539) Bad night (2262)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (428) Bad night (764)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

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  (816): I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine. http://tfl.nu/el1w
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (257)
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  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (342)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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  (519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek
  Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (342)

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