I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.