We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...