Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

another moral hangover. fuck.

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(910): another moral hangover. fuck. http://tfl.nu/vn7k

Replies (14) Good night (687) Bad night (966)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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(908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel" http://tfl.nu/ti94

Replies (12) Good night (925) Bad night (2184)
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(325): View more from Texas

When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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(325): When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous http://tfl.nu/im9q

Replies (26) Good night (871) Bad night (4464)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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(919): I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts. http://tfl.nu/d6ex

Replies (32) Good night (3632) Bad night (548)
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(425): View more from Washington

This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son

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(425): This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son http://tfl.nu/qxal

Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (2825)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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(732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1

Replies (2) Good night (2765) Bad night (713)
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(404): View more from Georgia

like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.

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(404): like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game. http://tfl.nu/v9p4

Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (836)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him

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(319): Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him http://tfl.nu/qb96

Replies (16) Good night (2236) Bad night (615)
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(914): View more from New York

Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.

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(914): Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade. http://tfl.nu/3ila

Replies (3) Good night (1308) Bad night (408)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!

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(978): Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab. (617): What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family! http://tfl.nu/wlta

Replies (16) Good night (3957) Bad night (755)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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(215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd

Replies (11) Good night (1287) Bad night (440)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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(404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7

Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (405)
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(562): View more from California

Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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(562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp

Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (402)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.

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(215): I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward. (1-215): ... (215): I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure. http://tfl.nu/h70g

Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (377)
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(626): View more from California

i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over

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(626): i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over http://tfl.nu/mit8

Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (432)

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