Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (2186) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1496) Bad night (775)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2737) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (11203) Bad night (1238)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.

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  (201): I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football. http://tfl.nu/9dil
  Replies (35) Good night (3064) Bad night (3082)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know but we should still do that

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  (503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy
  Replies (20) Good night (5306) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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  (615): How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"? http://tfl.nu/jnls
  Replies (20) Good night (1527) Bad night (5733)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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  (404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i
  Replies (17) Good night (6718) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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  (310): how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year. http://tfl.nu/ig11
  Replies (26) Good night (1150) Bad night (3308)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car

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  (330): what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8812
  Replies (18) Good night (1584) Bad night (3140)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

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  (717): Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear? http://tfl.nu/yvgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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  (402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl
  Replies (8) Good night (1983) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.

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  (229): I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals. http://tfl.nu/jhab
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk

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  (248): His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk http://tfl.nu/d0l5
  Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up

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  (973): I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up http://tfl.nu/1zy4
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (633)

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