I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
