I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
